JBeuhbienfaireunCRpourtagueulemongars

Once upon a time...

An assembly of unsavory characters held a vote (disregarding any notion of habeas corpus along the way...) to designate the poor soul (that would be me) to whom the burden of proof that JB was ready, willing, and able to get hitched would fall upon.


So get ready, it's Bye Bye Boozer all over again... Part 1 : EVG

And to kick this shindig off, I call upon memory lane to testify :
Who is this JBars? Where does he come from? Why do we care?

As it pertains to me, Mr JB Pinard appeared out of nowhere at the Lycée International. Friendly, cool, not French (it mattered back then), from the East coast...
Exhibit A :

Note that Chazz is already faking being a cutie pie, Greg is his usual upbeat self, and I'm bored out of my skull or something... But why the worried look Jeebz? What's that in your hand?

I'll spare you the Nike infatuation, the mild smart ass attitude in class, the shared love/hate relationship with freak math teachers, singing Russian children ditties (cacedède Mme Coste), the (now) ironic disdain for all things tobacco (rappelle toi comment t'as failli te faire défoncer quand t'as éclaté la clope d'un lycéen), ST fandom, and all that jazz.
Let it be known that no measure of skill as a defender in soccer (no pics, only witnessed one game... bite me), erudition of all things cinematic, passion for IBM PS2s/Sierra could make this fool stick around with the goodie two shoes class that we started out in. No, he and a precious few "chose" a good 'ole F U, circa end of 3ème.

Moving right along... so, thanks to this guy I was given the seed of insubordination that culminated in Olivier, Jay to the B, and I doing shitty powerslides in my dad's car in Louveciennes only to end up slamming into a sidewalk (Love ya Pops! Letting that shit go and I didn't even have my driver's licence yet). Oh, and that stupid car I jacked for all of 400 yards is on your ass too bro.

After our formative years, things only got better...
Exhibit B :

Alas, all I can say I was able to share was a single day in médecine, an extra 3 days in Corrèze on account of the KK-mobile breaking down, and an awesome cross country road trip that included a very uncomfortable 30 minutes with a certain "Jade" in a New Orleans (OMFG that's a pic I'd love to have).
Yeah, his punk ass went to McGill and I've got little to show for it. Apparently his frizz skills took a hit over there. Go figure...
Exhibit C :

And then, Juan-Batista came back to Louveciennes, started excelling in the internet referencing business, losing his licence by way of bicycle drunk driving (bô gosse!), met his soul mate (no, not that red dress chick you picked up in a bar just for the fuck of it), got blindsided by the sheer love power of Teather's wedding.... bref, shit got serious.
Exhibit D:

This sleeping in the line of duty thing was still out of hand though...

Effectivement, pure meuf... Validée

Which brings me to...

EVG!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! - aka : Operation Buzin' Bye Bye
Les participants :

• Julien D.
• Marc-Antoine du F.
• Olivier P.
• Martin J.
• Matthieu E.
• Romain M.
• Edouard P-C.
• Sébastien L.
• Sébastien L.
• Robert B.
• Maximilien G.
• 3 disparus de la dernière heure dont nous tairons les noms

Le plan :

Au bas mot 120 emails, 3 organisateurs (donc 8 glandeurs béats, your's truly included), 1 Google doc royalement ignoré, 1 cramage par proprio du fait de la page FB de Nelly Nell (droit à l'oubli putain!!!), 3 voitures (le duo Laval / Julien D. est à refaire dès que possible), 1 drone, 3 plans resto/bar/strip-teaseuse partis en fumée (enfin, en shots), un ramasse merde de piscine pété transformé en dessous de table au pote du proprio par l'inimitable Nelson, un dropbox directement sursaturé...

Exhibit E :

 10h, personne chez les Pinardo-Lainés... Ambiance fail?

 Dr Sherlomodus gère le chopage lors d'un mémorable "Mr Pinard est appelé à l'accueil" alors qu'il est en pleine séance de fitness

 Mise en route directe à base de whiskey/bédo

 JBeuhbienfairelafée est mis au taf dès l'arrivée sur Dijon

 Puis mis à l'amende

 Mais en fait il kiffe

 BBQ 'n' Beer... obligé

Une piscine, du soleil : preview du délire qu'allait devenir le mariage?

Frizz golf... tout aussi nécessaire (Il est arrivé 4ème le bougre)

 Laval... Il y a un dossier entier à fournir sur ce charmant jeune homme

En fait, on en a tous bien chié. Le tabasco comme sur-punition c'est... c'est... Mmmmm, c'est BON!

 Sérieux, déjà fini? Trop facile

Un dernier 421 à shots de mirabelle et le voilà enfin plié

But hey, this should make things easier to understand...
Exhibit Z (un grand merci à Martin J. Prod.) :

Let the wiki-CR/contre-CRs begin!

¿Part 2 : Did someone say wedding?

Bon lundi!

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