31 oct. 2020

CR Annecy


A picture is worth a thousand words so this here is worth 90 thousand words give or take. 

What more can I tell you really. 

Well the story began last thursday.

I woke up at 6. Jumped in the shower, put the coffee on then pulled Sophie out of bed. We had an early train, and needed to be in Gare de Lyon by 7.30am. 

Needless to say we made it. Took our seats in the train and while Sophie promptly fell asleep I hit the bar car for an early pint. 

I looked at me GPS. We were somewhere in the middle or burgundy when I made the switch over to red. Wine oclock always comes early when I'm on vacation. 

Feeling juiced and refreshed the 3h40 min ride went by in no time. 

We got off the train at Annecy, headed out of the station and scanned the horizon for our chauffeur. It was 11.32am on the dot. He was gonna be 5 minutes late. Surprising for a Dane. 

When he pulled up in a diarhea orange 4x4 citroen i had to chuckle. Vehicle was a piece of shit. Again surprising for a Dane. Though not entirely his fault as it was a rental. 

Greetings and pleasantries were exchanged and soon enough we were all breathing the same Covid air in his car, manoeuvring about and looking for a parking spot in down town Annecy.  The bumblebee insisted she go on a last minute shopping spree before lunch. As we waited, our chauffeur and I took advantage of the situation,  sat down, and ordered coffee. Naturally I demanded a chaser of Calva with mine. When  our damsel finally rejoined on us it was pouring. We rushed into the first restaurant we could find and spotted a table outside under a damp pattio overlooking the cute little canals. 

Annecy is kind of like Venice that way. It has canals. Only also completely different as it has no Italians, and literally everything else that makes up Venice is missing. 

Obviously, I ordered a fucking tartiflette. Sophie had a salad and Mister K, our chauffeur ordered chicken. As it turns out, this chauffeur intended on leaving NY and settling down in the region for good. Great news I thought. Always handy knowing a good driver here and there. 

As I smiled, I looked at my watch. We needed to run. Our stay at the Abbaye de Thalloires would not be put off any further. 

So we made it back to his car and headed south along the east coast of the lake. A short 25min drive at most. 

What was the rush? Oh nothing planned really. Just a 2pm massage at the 4 Star Hotel Spa. 

My kind of day. 

As it progressed. We relaxed at the spa. Enjoyed the "comfort" of our sweet. Had drinks at the bar. Visited the hotel wine cellar with 20 000 bottles and 1000 different wines, then sat down for meal. The sommelier advised us on the first two bottles. Then, somehow, by the time we were ready to order our third bottle to keep our liquid desserts afloat, we were told he had gone to bed. Fuckin pussy.

And so we took the bottle back up to our room and finished it there, "comfortably". 

Thus ended day 1. 

Day 2, Friday, was grey, smoky cloudy and humid. The lake is gorgeous no matter the weather and no matter the season really. Autum takes the cake I must say though. You'll see for yourselves. 

Day 2 consisted in pretty much nothing. We checked out of the hotel and checked into our Airbnb. We spent the day walking about. Checking out the lake side. Having lunch with our chauffeur and his wife. Then he walked some more and got caught in a downpour. We took shelter in a barn for like 2 minutes then moved on and got drenched some more. Once we were soaked we made our way to the the little town of Menthon Saint Bernard where we headed hey presto to the butcher that somehow moonlights as a cheesemaker. Convenient motherfucker. 

We bought truffled goat cheese and a couple tournedos. We bought mushrooms, shallots and plenty of redwine, headed back to the Airbnb, had a quick nap, then walked on down to where the chauffeur and his wife had their new appartment. Freshly acquired. He invited us for dinner waddya know. Friendly fucker he is.

That evening was spent eating and drinking exquisitely.

I was putting on some caloriess cause the next morning I'd be needing them for our 4h hike in the mountains. 

Content from this perfectly executed second day, we said goodnight to our hosts and drunkenly walked back up the road to our chalet for a well deserved snore.

Day 3. Got up at 8, had a quick coffee, then was met by our driver. Our ascent began at 8.30am sharp. Our plan was to make it to the Edelweiss restaurant by 1pm. Do i have to say it ? Ok I'll say it. I literally shit myself. In the woods climbing up. And then a second time. Figuratively. When we caught up by the fog and were stuck on some cliff side and could barely see. Intense. Just the way I like it. 

We made it to the restaurant and were joined by our damsels and by Mister K childhood friend. 

I ordered 1 liter of wine and we drank it all with raclette. 

When we drove back down, I was drunk and exhausted. I felt great. Was a good hike: 


That evening we were invited over to some of Sophie's friends. They have a magnificent cabin with unbelievable location and view of the lake. We had to cut the evening short cause the curfew had just been extended to the region as well. It sucked cause we still had a shitload of wine to drink. 

We said goodnight and made sure we would be back in the morning for coffee and one last walk all together before taking the train back to paris at noon. 

And that's what we did. 

Day 4. We slept one extra hour. Always a good thing. We packed up our bags. Whistled for our chauffeur then headed over to lakeside cabin for coffee and a morning stroll in the woods. I took no comfort in knowing that at the exact same time, several hundred kilometers north west, a couple of up to no goods were busy-bodying in Bobby's woods scavenging, finding and picking up our largest ever collection of Cepes to date. 

I was jealous. And my weekend was ending. 

We hopped on the train and rode in silence all the way back. 

I'm sure those mountains won't miss me. 

Zero








20 oct. 2020

J'en peux plus de voir ma sale gueule de bouffe cul

Donc à la place je suis parti à la recherche de la meilleure tof du web. 

D'abord j'ai tapé "best image on the web" et je suis tombé la dessus :



Plutôt à chier. Mais bon on peut comprendre j'étais sur Bing. 

J'ai fait la même requête avec Google, il m'a proposé ca : 


Hmmm.

J'affine ma recherche. 

"Meilleure photo de tout les temps"

Bing: 



Google: 



J'ai failli gerber. 

D'ou il me sort du foot. Ca doit être l'association avec la notion de "tous les temps" qui est trop souvent utilisé par des fombles fans du ballon rond qui parlent de la meilleure équipe de foot de tous les temps. 

Bref, ya pas photo (jeu de mot de merde) je suis particulièrement déçu. 

Je tente une dernière requête : 

"epic photograph"

La, la ca va nettement mieux. 

Bing me propose ca en premier. Rien à dire un bijou: 


Et Google celle ci : 


Je sais pas si ce sont les meilleures tofs du web mais les résultats sont nettement plus appétissants avec cette dernière requête. Je dirai qu'on s'en approche. 

Bing : 




Google : 



Pas une photo en commun entre Google et Bing mais perso je préfère la sélection de Bing à cause de la palette de couleurs plus éclatantes. 

Maintenant, vu que l'historique de navigation joue certainement un role dans le classement, j'étais curieux de savoir à quel point les résultats pouvaient changer par personne donc j'ai essayé en nav privé sur chrome.

J'ai eu ca: 



Encore une fois ca change presque du tout au tout. Marrant nan. 

Bon au moins vous voyez plus ma gueule direct en arrivant sur le blog maintenant. 

You're welcome. 
 

Zero






13 oct. 2020

Delicious links

 Here we go for delicious links almost every day, that'll look a little something like this:













5 oct. 2020

Pour ta zappance

je te propose cette photo. là aussi, tu avais le pantalon autour des chevilles donc on garde une certaine ligne directrice. Paix et Prospérité la BAF

4 oct. 2020

Ca mérite bien un post

Regardez bien cette tronche de cul...  



It might not look like it but I wasn't wearing any pants when I took this selfie

Désormais vous pouvez la retrouver dans la zappance box ou elle restera pour une durée indéterminée.

Seul un vote d'au moins trois comités réunis ou un UZIZOTY award lui accordant une immunité totale sauront y remédier.  

Le CPSAV ne peut que se désoler de son propre dérapage innacceptable ce qui le laisse totalement impuissant de s'opposer à cette sanction ô combien méritée.  

Le CPSAV prend acte de cette mise en garde et invite donc les autres membres du UZI à approver ou désapprouver du choix de photo pour  la zappance box. (The more humiliating the better I say.)

Car oui, la situation est inédite et ce protocole n'a jamais été anticipé, par conséquent votre input est primordiale. En effet c'est bien la première fois que, en toute transparence et honnêteté,  un membre reconnait avoir dépassé les bornes en matière de zappance au point de sa placer soi même dans la zappance box. (enfin on va pas l'applaudir non plus ce toccard, faut pas déconner)

Le CPSAV, n'attend aucun traitement de faveur soit dit en passant, et c'est le coeur lourd mais la tête haute qu'il  assumera toutes ses responsabilités en matière de chamelles nasales. 

Tristement, 

Zero